How to Answer: Is Santa Real?

God is real, but we can’t see God. Santa is a myth but we can see Santa everywhere: At school, TV, stores, and songs. Santa may seem more real than God if you look at him through a child’s eyes. 

Santa

The Santa children know today debuted in 1931 for Coca Cola. My 6mo cried the first time they saw Santa, we all laughed. At four years old my child asked me if Santa was real for the second year in a row! At first I said yes. But it felt wrong.

At three my child was very suspicious of Santa: They didn’t want Santa coming in our house at night. The way my 3yo felt about Santa was the same way kids feel about bellhops. I dare you to ask a bellhop how many times they have been kicked by a kid.

When my kid was three, I promised, there is no way Santa can come in our house. I remember trying to assure my child that Santa was not real to take away the fear. I wondered: Did I just ruin their childhood? 

I bet people think I’m so mean, but my kid is also really smart, and my child trusts me and looks to me for the truth. My child is suspicious of this Santa and their logic seems reasonable: 

• Santa is a stranger, we don’t want strangers walking around our house;
• Santa is always watching according to my child and that’s creepy;
• Santa’s elves are creepy. 

In all fairness Santa is a lie. The next Christmas more questions appeared:

1. Is Santa really real? 

2. Is God real? 

3. Why is Christmas all about baby Jesus?

4. Is Santa really a legend? 

5. Is Saint Nicholas really Santa?

6. Is heaven real?

7. Why can’t I see heaven if it’s real?

Side note: My second child (18mo) just started asking WHY!

Questions 1 and 2 really opened my eyes as to my choice in telling the truth versus a lie to my children early in life: God is real, but we can’t see God. Santa is a myth but we can see Santa EVERYWHERE. At school, TV, stores, and songs. Santa may seem more real than God if you look at him through a child’s eyes. 

Every Parent’s Real Santa Dilemma:  If I lie and say Santa is real, then when my child finds out the truth they may incorrectly conclude that I also lied about God. If Santa is a myth, then God must be a myth too. But, how can I answer this question truthfully in a gentle enough manner to be sensitive to my child’s state in life?

Pray Before You Answer Questions About Santa: I prayed on it and concluded that my child’s real preoccupation is with PRESENTS. Presents are what kids really want. Kids everywhere are willing to put up with a creepy Santa in their house to get toys and candy. Toys and candy are a perfect way to get kids to like something.

I love questions 4 and 5, because they help soften the blow. Here is how I answered the Santa question and kept my child’s faith in me and hopefully in God intact without ruining their childhood or sense of wonder.

How I Answered, Is Santa Real?

1. God is real. 

2. You can pray and ask God all your questions about Santa.  He may not answer you right away but he will answer you. Will you please let me know His answer?

3. Santa is a legend like mermaids are a legend. Santa can’t really see you or hear you all the time. Only God can see you and hear you all the time (Elohim). My kid cheered. Santa doesn’t really come in our house, mom would never let a stranger in our house. You are safe and I love you. 

And YOU WILL GET PRESENTS EVEN IF YOU ARE NAUGHTY. You really are a good kid and I know you usually try to be kind, even though it’s hard with a rough and tumble baby around. 

4. Saint Nicholas is a Saint. He was a real human a long time ago. St Nick was a follower of Jesus Christ and he wanted to be like Jesus by helping needy people: He really did give toys to needy kids, and helped people. He even slapped a bad guy who was telling lies about God and Jesus (More happy cheers and jumping up and down from my kids). St. Nicholas lives in Heaven with God, we can ask St. Nicholas to pray for us, just like all the saints. 

Question 9: So…who buys all my presents? 

A: Your cousins, neighbors and friends brought you gifts. You can pray to God for the toys you want and anything else you want. And…I love you so much I stay up late and wrap cool toys I know you like. 

My kid gave me a big hug and said “thanks mom” with a big smile, then asked me to play. 

When you tell your kids the truth about Santa, they might be a little sad, but they will TRUST you. And you need your kids to trust you if you want them to obey you over their friends and the world. 

Lesson learned: 

1. Kids won’t be devastated to learn the truth about Santa. The younger the better, but be mindful of how you word this truth.
2. Kids who are told Santa is real will be more sad to learn their parents lied to them about Santa (who coincidentally shares a lot of qualities with God) and they might start doubting God is real. 
3. Kids will still be super happy every Christmas as long as they get presents! 
4. You can still play make-believe about Santa. Your kids can still pretend with you that Santa brought their gifts if they want to. 

Closing thoughts on Santa: Grown ups are more attached to Santa than kids are and they push that creepy notion on kids. I never thought Santa was creepy till my kid explained why he’s scary, and Santa totally is when you think about it. 

When I think back on my childhood, I never thought too deeply about Santa or the Easter Bunny. I lied and said I believed to get presents and candy. Now the tooth fairy, I believed in, it just seemed more logical to me. 

Sincerely,

Laura

P.S. After this whole Santa ordeal, I was surprised to see this same Santa issue was tackled way back when by one of my favorite people, Mr. Rogers! In Episode 1261 of Mr. Rogers’ Neigborhood: Is Santa Real? His verdict: Many kids find Santa scary. And it’s healthy to tell kids Santa is make-believe. Apparently he received a lot of backlash for this episode.