7 Ways To Support A New Dad

Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.

- Psalm 127:3 (NIV)

This Father’s Day, I am grateful for baby’s strong bond with dada. I am filled with love and pride when baby reaches for dada and only dada will do because it means they are bonded.

How You Can Support A New Father

 1. Pray for him. 

Dad’s need support and prayer just like moms. 

• Pray for God to keep dad safe. 
• Pray for God to give dad the strength to be a good role model. 
• Pray for dad to be filled with the Holy Spirit.
• Pray for dad to seek God first always.

2. Assure dad it is normal to sometimes feel overwhelmed.

Dads want to be super dad and can feel ashamed when baby doesn’t cooperate and cries with them. Let dad know, even the easiest baby has it’s difficult moments it’s normal! When dad is caring for baby give him an out if he needs it. 

I have a rule that as soon as dad starts feeling tired to give me a 5-minute heads up and put baby in the playpen if he needs to before getting overwhelmed. When dads know it’s okay to put a baby down in a bassinet or playpen instead of toughing it out with a crying baby everyone is happier.  

3. Be vulnerable and share your struggles with dad. 

When my husband went to work one thing changed he wasn’t home to see our baby’s meltdowns with me. All he saw from 4-months on was a mom that knew just what to do (hello I spend more time with baby remember?) and a baby that could only be calmed by mama. He through I was perfect and that he couldn’t help our baby as much as me. 

While my husband was at work it wasn’t always flowers and sunshine with baby and me. Some days baby and I had a battle of wills and once I started sharing my imperfect parenting with my husband something changed, he relaxed and became a more confident dad. 

4. Remind dad, baby needs him too!

Babies horizons are instantly expanded when they spend time with dad. Did you know that dads naturally hold babies, read books and a play differently than moms? With dads, babies learn different social cues, and how to interact with the physical world in ways that are different from how mom does it.

5. Teach dad your tricks. 

Did you know newborn babies love faces and eye contact? If you are a mom chances are you do, but dad might not! Ask dad if he would like to learn a few tricks that you found work with your baby? Even something small like sharing with dad baby’s favorite toy, book, or game can do wonders for their relationship.

6. Let dad do things his way.

I stop myself from stepping in when dad cares for baby by reminding myself of the 80 Percent Rule for Delegation, if it can be done at 80% delegate.  

As long as baby is not in danger relax and let dad do diapers, playing, feeding his way etc... Dad will probably not do it as good as you (due to less practice) but refrain from stepping in unless asked. Only through practice can dad learn how to be a better dad. Who knows, maybe you can learn a thing or two from dad!

7. Encourage dad’s baby free socializing.

To help dad relax encourage his healthy hobbies: sports with friends, fishing, surfing etc... That way dad can spend time doing things that help him feel like himself. When dad can socialize away from baby he returns home mentally refreshed, is more relaxed with baby and is more willing to help you at home. 

Personally, my husband’s weekly softball night requires extra commitment from me as it means I won’t get a break from baby duties on that day. However, I modify my expectations for the day and forget about my to-do list! Instead, I play music, dance with baby and ignore the messes! Once dad comes home after socializing with his friends, I get to enjoy a chat with a more relaxed and happy man. 

Congratulations on your new baby! 

Sincerely,

Laura